As you see we hang around on runners world forum.
Most of the old / orriginal pirates have moved on as their interests moved on (some are still around though)…. But we get lots of newbies eveey year.
The only vague rule is to enter an ironman, introduce yourself, buy some kit, train and go do it

Orangecannon
#

So you have bumped into a pirate, and thought, hey they are cool / crazy / so unfibut still doing Ironmanm and you think ‘yes! – I want a bit of that!

If so, read on

So How Do I Join

Well, the pirates are not actually club – so there are no entry fees and therefore its really easy to join!!

However we are a bunch of ironman / ironman wannabes who offer each other guidance, help and motivation etc. Most importantly we do a nominated ironman each yer as well as a various half IMs.
There, we all wear stupidly loud yellow kit, and support each other furiously
That’s where the spirit/ pirate ethos came from – supporting / encouraging those idiots who dared enter an IM despite varying levels of ability / fitness and injury.
We also see in the final finishers (usually a pirate) with beer in hand –

We hang out on the runners world uk forum- triathlon section. Piss taking / banter is all part of it, as is helping and encouraging those newbies who appear each year.

The only 3 things you need to do to become a pirate is:-

• join the forum (nickname required)
• enter a race
• buy some pirate race kit

I would start by lurking on the forum, and if you decide you like the vibe, then introduce yourself, and enter an IM!
It helps to do an ironman with other newbies / pirates. That way you are part of the journey, its easier to ask stupid questions, get help and advice and finally the support on the day is brilliant. It generally helps to be reasonably active on the forum (so people know who you are), have a sense of humour and not take yourself to seriously

Above all its supposed to be fun.

If you are into oly distance stuff, or are a ‘serious*’ athlete the pirates may not be for you
If you are enthusiastic and don’t take yourself too seriously (have you seen the kit?) then welcome

*No talent is required, but we have some kona qualifiers in the gang

Cheers

OrangeCannon

Great, well organised event, the town really gets behind it. Some of us are going back for more, and there are some novice pirates having a go as well

I want to be an Iron Dragon
Barley
Hokori
Joddly
Kelvyn
Slagiatt
Button Mushroom (was SMT)
Slowerthanilook
waving not drowning!
Ironnurse
The Silent Assassin
The Road Runner
Iron Tractor Boy
Bobby Nobby
Crux
Cheerful Dave

outlaw 2013 thread

• summer training
• cheaper travel costs
• half and relay option for light weights

The Official Pirate Ship is sailing to Lanza in 2013 – (after a year off in 2012 due to bad economics / everyone being skint!!!)

Its a challenge
cheap beer
cheap accomodation
its a long way to go
training through the winter
its tough (apparently)
proper holiday destination
sun, sand, sea and…. sunburn
whats not to like???

sign up now!!!

pirate thread for ExtravaLanza 2013

The thread is for anyone – whether you are outlaw’ing, using Fink or any other program, or going to any other race.

If you are IMing for the first time, introduce yourself, start posting and enjoy the journey!

• 2012 IM Training Thread
• Fink for Outlaw 2012

Quickly becoming a pirate regular, the third running of the outlaw is also the Pirate Championship for 2012.
A home grown IM distance event, its held in Nottingham on 1st July 2010. Its run by the same team that brings the popular pirate event The Vitruvian to us every year, and it was great last year. Its a pirate special as its really well run and perfect this year as not everyone can stump up the money for the Euro IM experience.

Organisers website.
Pirate forum thread :- Championship 2012 – Outlaw

A second thread :- outlaw 2012 – just to be confusing

Whos gonna be an outlaw?
Intending to Enter

• AH
• Andyb99 (can somebody lend me pirate kit)
• Barley
• Bedders
• bez_za *entered*
• Bhflyer
• Big Al
• BMBecky & Mr BMB
• Cake (assuming I’m able to)
• Cat5 (if Mrs Cat5 doesn’t get in to the VLM)
• Colourin
• Cona
• Cougie
• Dave the Ex Spartan
• Ditchy
• D.O.G.
• Doner Kebab
• Doozer (unless i win the lottery and head off to Dubai)
• DubaiDave (Just don’t tell Mrs DD yet)
• Dustboy
• Flat Footed
• Foggy
• Frodo
• Gazmanmeister (will also be doing Enduroman 2012)
• Gladys
• GOM. (I’ll be there whatever)
• Happychap
• Hope
• IronHolgs ( I’ll use Lanza as a warm up for this )
• Iron M.andel (maybe all of it, maybe relay)
• IronM.in
• Iron Tractor Boy
• Jack Sparra
• Jaffa (Relay or feedstation likely as not racing IM in 2012)
• JEvaNs*
• Kanga (in spirit anyway …)
• Kingy (just waiting until pay day to sign up).
• kk (home turf means I may be able to afford to play next year)
• La petite rosbif (Gin not part of nutrition strategy)
• lastant
• Lee the Pea
• Meldy
• mellifera
• Mousey
• MovingAlong
• Muffin Top
• Mr Zuvai
• Mrs SA
• Nicko (Olympic duties allowing) {sounds good that}
• orangeCannon
• Oxy
• pain is temporary
• PinguPongu (relay or full depends on how IMW goes…)
• PerriPerry – though dont tell anyone sshhhhhhh
• Prince Siegfried
• Purple
• Razor51
• Rio (maybe, possibly, depending, but will support whatever ) – hopes that G doesn’t see this yet
• Saffers (possibly/maybe but sshhhhh cos gotta get it pass the Gestapo first)
• Shore Shins
• Silver Trucker (will someone hold my hand on way round please )
• SlowE – Provided it isn’t full when I start my job!
• Slummo
• Soup Dragon
• Spongecake
• Steve Ho
• Sumoeddie (Laura M)
• Symes (more than likely a bike leg part of relay I guess, TBC on Quin entry)
• Tired Legs – a massive maybe (also depends on when the Lakeland 50 is next year
• TJ1004
• Tommygun2 (yes I am going to do it, no more stupid injuries)
• Tonka Boy (providing all is going as planned )
• Toucs (going solo after his swim victory at IMR)
• Trogs (will decide which side of the fence I’ll be on when entries open)
• Ultra AJH
• Viking
• WildWill
• Woody2run (Maybe)

Entered and Paid (Money where Mouth is)

• Iron Swissbobby
• NV

Relayists

• Aitch – relay team (bike or swim only) or support crew!

• deca
• quin
• triple
• double
• single

No idea who’s doing what yet, but people are flashing their credit card….

main thread

if you are mad enough to think about entering, you probably know their web site already!

What a race! Tenby / the organisers put on a cracking first race – looks like everyone enjoyed it. It was tough, with the weather / wind adding to the tough bike and run course.

Full race reports are buried in the RW thread.

RW thread

Slagiat’s race report – (in pirate tradition, it was his first IM, and he was the last finisher before the cutoff!

Preamble – New years eve 2010 ..

My mate Tony .. shit we’ve put on weight.. (looking at digi pic of the two of us taken by wife)
Nigel .. oh crap is that realy what we look like.. mate we gotta lose some weight.. that’s it then , new years resolution , we’ll start jogging or something ..
My mate Tony .. Wednesday..
Nigel.. yeah ok sounds good.

About a month later …
Nigel… Yeah trying to lose some weigh ,
Bloke at work.. same here , gonna do a triathlon where I used to live .
Nigel .. ooo that’s a great idea, something to aim for .. whens that ?
Bloke at work.. June the something ..
Nigel .. I might have a crack at that .

Feb ..
Nigel .. hey bloke at work.. I entered that Tri. Gotta get a bike and learn how to FC now as I read somewhere that you cant do breaststroke on triathlons.

March ..
with the help of you tube I can now swim FC …or so I thought .
March.. purchase cant swim bike or run … read it and am hooked on the idea of an Ironman

8th April After my second “you have not completed your registration” reminder for IM Wales I press the button and im in. Just the small matter of never having swam more than 6 lengths without a rest , cycled more than 12 continuous miles , or run more than 3 … but 6 months … that’s do-able surely … yeah .. well it Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time …

Pre Race
Met up with Shaun and his delightful other half on the Thursday so I could load the car and be ready for an early start . I think he was a little relieved that I didn’t arrive in a blinged up Vauxhall corsa or something , and perhaps a little happier that he might actually get to see his bike the next day … must have still been a little worried as he sent Kat by train . Some good banter on the way to Wales .. and at this stage despite the 5 hour drive no bladder issues apparent . Arrive at Tenby and go and get registered .. we are both like kids with new toys when we get our IronMan rucksacks, it could only have been better if they came with a transformer and a torch. Onto Kiln Park .. directed to my particular section of swamp which was right next door to Orange Cannon and between us we figure out the tent. Bit of a faff with the race briefing as we had assumed it was near registration , but got across town in time .. and for the first time the nerves kicked in … all suddenly very real. Saturday practice swim… had decided not to .. on the basis that it may mess me up for the Sunday . Went along and watched and looked ok. Big brekky and lobbed some money in tenby cycles on arm warmers and a better waterproof that looked like they’d be needed . Back to KP and prepped bags and bike for checking in

Lunch in the Bucaneer with Pingu , Gordon ,Mr Zuvai then chilled (well sort of ) .. Early to bed .. but not a bloody wink of sleep…

Wales- Race day
The Swim… standing at the back of the Pen and letting the pack thin out a bit .. I know I’m not a fast swimmer so little point ruining other peoples races , happy to swim near the back .. like many i am kind of annoyed that so many people decided to run the beach rather than just get in and swim but hey ho. I think it annoyed me more because it wouldn’t look as good on the video’s as if they had just gone straight .. competitive advantage was lower on my list of concerns .. Seemed a bit of a slog to the first Buoy and I sucked in a good amount of water , but by the turn I had steadied out a bit and breathing back under control. Found it quite hard to sight the buoys despite their size because of the rolling seas , really did feel like you were falling off some of the waves , but kind of enjoyable. Made the beach at the end of lap 1 check my watch and am happy that I can make the swim before the cut off (Giovana .. if you happen to see this thank you soo much for the swim help .. would never have made it otherwise) . Lap two .. much of the same .. swam the other side of the fishing boat this time , variety being the spice of life. Hit the beach and was suitably impressed that I managed to stand up and run (we’ll call it that ) up to my shoe bag on the top floor. Have to say that despite it seeming like a horrible prospect when we first found out about the venue change , the run through the town to transition was dare I say quite good fun .

T1 .. The excellent volunteers in transition had clocked my number and were already getting my bag off its hook .. off with the wettie .. on with the lubrication and out to the bike racks .. lets just say it wasn’t too much of a challenge to find where I’d left my bike.. and away I go ..

Bike Out through the town and already feeling the love .. but it was when I hit the first of the villages that I think I got my first real taste of the atmosphere .. the support from the locals was stupendous .. and I found myself shouting out loud to myself ( in a way that I like to think was like a two wheeled version of that scene from Titanic ) that this is the best feeling in the world , as I rode through .. real pins and needles buzz .. a feeling that I don’t think I’ll ever forget and regardless of how the day panned out from there I knew then that giving this a go was a decision I’d not look back and regret. OK.. emotional out burst over, lets crack on … well I seem to recall there were a few hills .. then I actually caught up with a couple of others only to see one get skittled by the wind as he passed a gap in the wall with his disc wheels (frankly if I was catching him then the carbon wheels were probably a bit of a waste of his money ) . Stopped to check he was ok… he was .. bleeding , but functional, and assured me that he’d be fine.. passed details to next marshal (all of whom were brilliant I’ll add at this point ) . Onwards to Angle .. and OMG that’s a view isn’t it … you just want to stop and soak it up. Through the dunes up the hill , spot the camera man and give him

a thumbs up . Suddenly from nowhere comes the first feed station .. haven’t prepared for this .. had expected a mile marker or something to give me time to sort out what to drink , what to throw , what to keep etc .. so it was a bit of a panic and threw the wrong bottle away. Didn’t matter though as I was now the proud owner of one that had IronMan on it J simple things and all that . Onwards.. Surprised myself by managing to pass a few more , some on the climbs .. but more so on the descents .. some of the international contingent definitely seemed to be having downhill wibbles . onwards into the first lap of the 2 loop bit , quelle surprise , more hills .. but bigger this time .. seriously glad of the triple chainset , I think I would probably have claimed the award for most IM miles done on the granny ring. More amazing support in the villages .. plenty of Yarrgh-ing to the meerest mention of the word pirate , and loving every second of being in the yellow and black. I remember going up what I thought was a pretty severe climb and passing someone and asking if this was saundersfoot , and the disappointment when they said no not yet . A welcome sight appeared on the horizon .. not only the top of the hill.. but what appeared to be a Pirate jersey .. a few minutes later and was within shouting distance and established that it was the lovely Seren . I guess we got separated on the downhill twisty bits towards Wisemans as I unfortunately didn’t see her again until the run and found that she’d narrowly missed the cut . Wisemans .. beautiful looking place and then I turned right and looked up .. WFT !!! now that’s a hill ..As I watched someone half way up reach low end terminal velocity and topple off and was in the throws of telling myself that “this is a walker” ( I said walker .. although the other word probably appropriate) when I spotted the gaggle of yellow tops .. whoop whoop .. pirates ahoy .. god dammit , now there was no way I could walk it .. time to mtfu and step on the pedals .. Absolutely brilliant place to support guys.. real boost seeing you all there and shouting its Slag to the question”which one are you” (I have come to quite like that name ) made me smile even more..

Saundersfoot was another killer , but the support there and the pumping music .. just brilliant . Onwards to Tenby and see that the Marathon is already filling up . Lap two of the bike .. well clearly more of the same .. but a couple of things to call out , the family that had set up an impromptu aid station at the front of their house .. giving out plastic cups of water to any that needed .. and the girls near Kiln park that had set up a sort of relay system to get the names of the riders coming along and communicate it up the road so that when you arrived they were all shouting your name (just genius) . By about halfway round on lap two I am nervously looking at my watch and computer and realising that this is starting to slip away .. giving it what I can on the downhills but legs offering little on the ups .. getting closer to the now feared Wisemans and time moving way too fast . Decision time .. and it really was that for me.. I am hurting .. I don’t look like I’ll get to the cut off .. I could just accept it , I tried my best right , can still hold me head up knowing that on an Iron man event that I was seriously under trained for that I still nearly made the bike cut. .. Looked down at the note I had written to myself the night before and tied onto the bars.. reminded me why I had got that far , no way am I going down without a fight .. for the last ten miles it was a case of giving it everything I had left and then some to get back in time .. made it with I think 2 minutes to spare . Thankful to be met in transition by Clare who took the bike and racked it for me

Run
Still putting run shoes on as I hear the announcer saying sorry to the people just coming in who hadn’t quite made the cut .. that’s got to be the cruellest blow after a course like that . Out on the run .. fairly well running on empty now so early on went for a walk up run down strategy .. figured I should just about be able to make it like that . Pleased to see that I wasn’t the only one on that plan and enjoyed some good banter with others walking the hill. No surprise by this stage , and as has already been reported by everyone else , both the volunteers and the spectators were amazing with their support , and this for me became more special as the night dragged on .. will come back to that . Pirates a plenty on the run and great to exchange words of encouragement >: Down the hill and into the town , now from a spectator point of view .. excellent , from a “I’d love to look at all the historical architecture” point of view .. again excellent .. but as someone that really had no right to be bimbling around a marathon course that last mile snaking in and out and up and down the nooks and crannys of the old town were painful.. the band distribution point just never seemed to arrive. Excellent to see pirates at the Bucaneer , although not so good to see Seren there as I now knew she must have missed the cut off .. gutted for you Seren L , same sad feeling to see Gordon standing at the corner as hadn’t heard about his misfortune either, massive respect to you for staying and shouting encouragement. The NEWT’s over the road were amazing also ,, kudos .

Lap two .. still Yarrrgh ing , still smiling , see more pirates .. Shaun going like a train (albeit a bit of a leaky one) , FB , RBM , Pingu (who is just one of the happiest people you could ever hope to meet , just lovely ) the excellent Mr Z , Joddly , Cobol, FF, RBM and others who passed me at speed that I couldn’t always make out who you were so apologies for not name checking you all .. Got some “Go Pirate” from others not in the colours .. Darkness maybe ?? . Band envy has now set in . Back into town .. Lap 3 . Here comes the rain again .. falling on my head like a memory , falling on my head like a new emotion ….. Tired .. check, cold..check, wet.. yep .. the set is complete as it starts persisting down .. More yarrrgh ing, more walk up run down , Joined Pingu for a little while pleased that she was nearly finished and that by the looks of things most of the others were now home safe. Back into the town and with Shaun now finished he proceeds to pop up on every corner with Kat .. brilliant , hysterically funny ,although a little annoying as I fealt that at least occasionally I should be seen running

Last lap .. Now proudly sporting my third band I head out of town for the last time .. soaked to the bone , chuffing cold , but know I am going to make it .. up the road a bit I see a little old man sending what I assume was perhaps a grandson towards me with a bin bag in hand .. arm holes and head hole pre cut , just the nicest of jestures .. this family had been offering their home made raincoats to all of us still struggling round in the rain. Wish id thought to have taken the door number as would love do have dropped them a thank-you . Up the hill to the turnaround , and onto the homeward stretch .. stopped at all the aid stations but this time purely to say thanks .. pretty miserable conditions for them to be stuck out there in so the least I could do was let them know it was appreciated . Into town and Shaun and Kat are still popping up all over the place J , past the RNLI .. slowing (lol.. ok not so much slowing needed) to thank them for their part in the days proceedings, then lose my footing and clatter down the steps by the arch , no real damage luckily, past the last aid station .. more thank-yous.. round the loop and a lovely lady from the aid station then joins me for the run back up through town , re-assuring me that I have enough time .. she was American so this greatly appreciated company came unfortunately with lots of “good jawb” and shouts of “hey everyone here comes an ironman” . Last couple of corners .. time to lose the bin bag and emerge once more as a Pirate , can see the lights of the finish and the people lining the carpet , hear the announcer say something about and “we have one of the final few coming through now” and then “hey ! it’s a Pirate !”.. brilliant J Just the best feeling in the world running that carpet high fives , and seeing Mr Z , Shaun , Kat all there at the end .. thanks guys . 16hrs 42 .. ok it’s a shocker , but its 18 minutes better than I needed and I promise to try harder next time. Had what can only be described as the time of my life… met the most amazing group of people and cant wait to see you all again , hopefully I’ll not leave it til last knockings to cross the line next time Can only echo the comments of others .. anyone thinking about doing this .. go for it , and if you want some great laughs and to meet amazing people then go Pirate … J (welling up like a big girl)

FlatFoted
Pre-cursor stuff: In retrospect this has been the first year that I’ve strung together a decent block of training. By decent I mean consistent, where previous years have had ‘missing’/CBA/ill weeks I have been running and turbo-ing fairly consistently since the start of the year. The RWUK vs US Jan challenge was a good way to kick start the year and having both London and Brighton marathons also focused the mind. I’ve also managed to shift some of the middle aged spread so was starting with most things in my favour.

Friday: arrived at Stalag Kiln Park and was directed to the overflow camping pool/field. Got tent put up in the dry and scooted off to register. Met piratey neighbours and ended up (having got past security) in the Mash and Barrel (the resort pub). Consumed large quantities of philosophical juice while discussing the nature of motivation/training with Shufflebunny, OC and the Zuvai’s. I had thought we had persuaded Mr Zuvai’s girlfriend to take part in the Outlaw next year and am happy to see that confirmed elsethread. Somewhat non-plussed to find that the toilets were locked out of hours, but was let in to the secret by a couple of underage smokers looking for a quiet corner to roll a few fags in (as far as I am aware this is not a euphamism). As beer and camping are not the best of companions I also got to see that the vehicle crawling about the site at 3 in the morning was a Kiln Park security truck (complete with sidewards facing searchlights).

Awoke on Saturday morning to the gentle sound of raindrops. Removed earplugs and realised perhaps gentle was not the word for it. Spent a quiet hour or two trying to put things into various transition bags whilst also dodging the showers. There’s something about filling the bags which brings the whole event into sharp focus. “Hey, I’m really going to do this”. Having finished packing I then realised it would have made more sense to have left helmet and cycle shoes out so I could have cycled to transition. D’oh. Arrive at transition to see signs everywhere saying the swim has been switched to the north beach. Leave bike on racking swaying dangerously. Nice official checking me in confirms I’ll need another pair of shoes for the run from the beach to T1. After drawing several blanks I find a pair of surf shoes for the princely sum of £5.99. There’s nice.
A relatively early night on Saturday and I actually managed a few hours of what might be considered sleep (in between the fretting).

Sunday dawns (well it doesn’t really as we’re up before it) rather blustery. Get to transition in good time, front derailleur is making funny noises and I conclude that the bike must have been blown over at some point yesterday (I noticed after the event that one of my bar end plugs was missing). Click into small gear and bike sounds healthy again.

Got down to North beach in good time, was slightly surprised to be filmed on the way down (presumably background footage). Maybe my fifteen minutes starts now? Join the queue of wetsuit clad people standing around at the waterfront. I’d wanted to get here early to get into the water early, but can’t see how/where. Eventually a few hardy souls swim out from the right hand side of the beach and I can see how to join them. This was the one bit I was seriously worried about. My only previous DNF in any triathlon was following a seriously cold swim (Marshman) where I ended up hyperventilating/asthmatic following the swim. Accordingly I’m wearing a neoprene hat and earplugs. Into the water, face slowly immersed and gently blowing bubbles into the water. All is calm. I swim forward a couple of strokes and clatter into someone swimming into shore. D’oh. There’s a bit of a swell running, and where the waves start to break on the shore the water is cappuccino coloured due to the amount of sand being pulled up from the beach. As I’m swimming through the shallows a figure (striding) to the left of me says ‘you’re swimming backwards mate’ before the next wave dumps me on my arse several yards further up the beach.

I join the happy throng in the start pen area. I try to put my HRM onto standby but the sand in the waves has jammed the ‘go’ button. Cue desperate dash to the shoreline to try to rinse the thing out.

Happily all is restored to good order for the start. Having been swept nearly back to shore by the first breaker I decide that heading straight out and then turning left might be a good idea. From looking about it appears there are lots of people thinking different things as to best strategy (including the ‘lets run to the first buoy’ crowd), so it’s a remarkably calm swim to the first buoy. That said, anyone breaststroking round a buoy is off my Christmas card list. It’s all a bit 3D rocking and rolling out on the far reach, but you’d pay good money for that at Alton Towers. Not too keen on the pinch point between the trawler and the buoy at the mid point, but I only swam into a couple of people so not too bad. Coming back to shore I may have even swum in a straight line due to the amount of sighting needed. I think the clock said about 38:00 when I got out which was way faster than I’d imagined (the results have me as 34:00 dead). I don’t think I was overtaken by the leaders (which was one of my goals) but with the sea conditions I could have been overtaken by a brass band playing troupe of hippopotamuses and not noticed. Lap two, more of the same, but even less biff. Out in 1:11 which is an 9 min PB (but leaves me thinking it was probably a bit short).
Lovely run up through the town into T1. Met by Petal who checks all is OK. Find a place to change and only think something’s a bit wrong when I find I’ve still got sandy hands when applying the Assos creme. See FB briefly in the changing tent. Opt for both arm warmers and gillet as we are promised ‘a bit of everything’ weather wise on the bike ride.

Away on the bike, having ridden this before I know it will be rewarded by a constant effort. Some downhills have some scary bends, but for those that don’t, anything you can gain going down you’ll save on the way back up again. It would appear I’m in a minority in this view (Bassy- golden opportunity for your downhill coaching here). Another set of people crossed off the Christmas card list (those that pedal for half a dozen revolutions and stop and those that coast downhill). The route out to Angle is busy, but I don’t see any chain gangs. The crowds on the first loop are very welcome.

As we came down into the Freshwater Bay the woman on the bike in front of me shrieked as the wind hit, which meant I had one less thing to do as I grabbed the brakes.

The second (North/South) lap of the bike gets progressively hillier. No worries, I’ve ridden this, locals are out in force. Big boost when going past the Pirate support station at Wiseman’s bridge. Strangely I find the final climb out of New Hedges the worst, if only because I’m giving it full beans before the climb to try to maintain some momentum.

I can’t remember what time I was back through Tenby, but the second (short) lap was much the same, except it was harder. Enough already with the wind. The final drag up into Tenby, which I’d done easily as a recce was a real struggle. I’m thinking maybe I’ve left a bit too much out on the bike course.

Into transition, I can’t find my run bag (I think the racking might have been re-arranged since check-in, but I’m not exactly working on all cylinders at this point). One of the helpers hands me my bag and as if by magic Petal turns up (again) to check I’m OK. Thanks. Apply sun screen (too late) and remove gillet (not required during gloriously sunny bike). Off we go, or maybe not. I’m feeling really rather rubbish. Stop to walk inside the first mile and a Celtic Tri lady suggests walking the ups and running the flats. I get my breath back and start running for a bit, feel awful and revert to walking. Celtic tri lady goes past me. Revert to strategy she gave me. Heart rate is way low. I pass FB who’s cramping and work out that is the first time I’ve ever managed to do that in a tri. I’m chicked big time as Kirstin Moeller breezes past on her last lap. I’m still trying to acknowledge other pirates. Joddly and Rosey both have their game faces on, CRAB likewise. Second lap is worse, I am a deeply unhappy Ferret. Short of breath, wheezing and not going very quickly at all. Had I seen Bassy on the second loop I would have mugged him for his Ventolin. I didn’t, so I had to make do with trying to remember whether sea air was supposed to be good for the lungs or not. Stopped for a long overdue pitstop and was overjoyed to see that there was still loo roll left.

The weather was starting to go off a bit, the showers had probably washed off the sunscreen, but still warm enough that walking was not cooling me down too much. Onto lap three, I’m coughing, but this seems to clear my chest and I’m feeling less awful. From here on in it’s grind it out time. I’m amazed and stupified by the support going through Tenby, if I respond to the ‘Pirate’ shouts with an ‘aaargh’ I get cheers back. Utterly marvellous. The pirate support massive seem to be constantly shifting around, all shouts gratefully received.

Final lap and I’m trying to thank all of the marshalls, feed station staff, very happy to get my final white band (but a little unsure why they needed to hand that one out), showboating and high fiving into the finish chute for a 13:36:07 which is about 40 seconds off my PB for the IMCH course.

Get into the finish area and spend way too long trying to funnel a plastic bag of Rego powder into a bottle of water and end up with most of the powder over my shorts (trust me, you needed to be there to appreciate the reduction in ‘processing power’). First sports massage, big tick but definitely file under therapeutic rather than pleasurable. Collected bags and stuff and made it back to the finish chute just in time to be nearly blown over and to have missed Hope’s finish. Can’t see anyone I know bar Rosey, but he’s on the other side of the grandstands so I opt for the ‘lets get this stuff back to camp’ option. By the time I’m stowed and showered it’s too late to get back up. Sorry for those I missed.

Monday involves lots of beers and post-mortems, thanks to Rosey for the debrief. I end up missing the (official) post event party as I was inspecting the inside of my eyeballs but I need to get through two sets of security to get to the bar at the campsite. Goodness only knows what they were expecting.

In retrospect, maybe a little too hard on the bike, but also possibly under fed and definitely dehydrated which meant that the run was to be endured rather than enjoyed. Next time, better planning needed for the bike nutrition and some sort of plan for the run is needed. See y’all at the Outlaw if not before.

and finally a gratuitous shot of the first pirate home.